Theater Curtain Blues and Other Poghems

1. “Smog Test”

You don’t understand

how hard it is to be turned

on by tattoos

and

off by vegetarians

and

live in the san

francisco bay.

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2. “Closed Things”

when I am alive I look

at myself, the people I know

and think

damn, if people like us were in charge

the world would be fucked

but then I remember that the world

is indeed

fucked

and sleep.

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3. "Theater Curtain Blues"

even though you tell me

about problems I have no way to fix

my hands are cold, hmm,

the hell am I supposed to do about that

strike me hard when you see

an out-of-state license plate

even while I am driving,

in fact usually while I am driving

insist it is a lie that I’ve ever seen

someone with darker red hair

you say you are the reddest

of the headest

burn off my film making photographs of

flowers that are bound to be trite

I had hoped that once you learned to focus you would take off

down the street chasing interesting-looking strangers

won’t sing along with me when we meet my old friend, tell him

we are seeing prints at Fort Mason Center and he thinks we mean Prince

Raspberry

beret

somehow you put everything in order in this city

where if you want brutal revenge on anyone, to see them suffer until

you have to turn away

you need only face them and stand

very still.

Post your 2011 Resolutions

New Year’s Resolutions for 2011:

-Get entirely out of debt.

-Exercise more, at least 5% as much as Bobby does.

-Dress like Chris K., because, if you want to get ahead in the world/bar, you need to be noticed. Erik won’t agree with this. He doesn’t understand, because he doesn’t need to do anything to get noticed. He’s like David (hipster version). Bobby understands, though he can dress normally. He’s like David (Michelangelo version). I’m not, okay?

-Take the San Francisco art world by storm. Get prints of my brotos in galleries by following Erik’s guidelines and ranting about how I know Chihuly and met him at a Microsoft-run art camp, even though such a claim is completely inconsistent with my age relative to Chihuly’s. If anyone questions me regarding this, make insulting statements about Chihuly’s personal hygiene to change the subject. My target is Minna Gallery, downtown.

-Tell everyone I meet that I’m 30, if they ask.

-Conquer my fear of the internet.

-Learn to actually cook.

-Watch TV and try to become habituated to at least one show.

-Yell more often, but say nicer things.

-Take care of my health, specifically by smoking less (to avoid lung cancer/higher health insurance rates) and by stretching before I go out dancing (to avoid pulled muscles).

-Improve posture. Keep my head up and stand up straight, even when it is raining.

-Replace the bulbs in my headlights so I don’t have to drive around with my high-beams on all the time at night.

-Take fewer, better photos rather than more, worse photos. Quality over quantity. Bro XXXploitation over all else. Put photos of friends online more quickly, but also try to make friends with people who are patient (preferably: beautiful women who are old enough to remember having to wait for film to be developed).

-Become cured of all third-world diseases (April 18!) and do not use cessation of antibiotics as an excuse to get excessively crunk off in the club. Remember, driving is WAY better than drinking.

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Okay, these are mine. Post yours.