New Year’s Resolutions for 2011:
-Get entirely out of debt.
-Exercise more, at least 5% as much as Bobby does.
-Dress like Chris K., because, if you want to get ahead in the world/bar, you need to be noticed. Erik won’t agree with this. He doesn’t understand, because he doesn’t need to do anything to get noticed. He’s like David (hipster version). Bobby understands, though he can dress normally. He’s like David (Michelangelo version). I’m not, okay?
-Take the San Francisco art world by storm. Get prints of my brotos in galleries by following Erik’s guidelines and ranting about how I know Chihuly and met him at a Microsoft-run art camp, even though such a claim is completely inconsistent with my age relative to Chihuly’s. If anyone questions me regarding this, make insulting statements about Chihuly’s personal hygiene to change the subject. My target is Minna Gallery, downtown.
-Tell everyone I meet that I’m 30, if they ask.
-Conquer my fear of the internet.
-Learn to actually cook.
-Watch TV and try to become habituated to at least one show.
-Yell more often, but say nicer things.
-Take care of my health, specifically by smoking less (to avoid lung cancer/higher health insurance rates) and by stretching before I go out dancing (to avoid pulled muscles).
-Improve posture. Keep my head up and stand up straight, even when it is raining.
-Replace the bulbs in my headlights so I don’t have to drive around with my high-beams on all the time at night.
-Take fewer, better photos rather than more, worse photos. Quality over quantity. Bro XXXploitation over all else. Put photos of friends online more quickly, but also try to make friends with people who are patient (preferably: beautiful women who are old enough to remember having to wait for film to be developed).
-Become cured of all third-world diseases (April 18!) and do not use cessation of antibiotics as an excuse to get excessively crunk off in the club. Remember, driving is WAY better than drinking.
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Okay, these are mine. Post yours.
LATEST PROJECTS
See Me In The Streets Bitch
- Brandon Gorrell 'one time thing' and from SEA
- BUY Menthol's "OMG Pleasure" 'perfect fit' tee shirt $55
- BUY Menthol's Erik Stinson (direct shipping from printer, early price $6)
- BUY Menthol's Kevin Akstin (writer E. Bay, PoMo Gothic)
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- David Fishkind (budding writer NYC)
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- Stefan Moore (director/artist NYC/SEA)
- Street Carnage
- Tao Lin (inspirational, rejuvenating author, NYC)
- Tom Moody (blogger OG net artist NYC)
- Zachary German (writer NYC seems 'same as me' somehow)
Contributors
3 comments:
damn thats so much
Drink less (quantity in a sitting, frequency is fine). According to the psycologist whose waiting room I am sitting in now, I am an alcoholic, and every drink I have makes me more of an alcoholic.
Don't smoke pot cuz it fucks up my life.
Let my back heal an be able to achieve the following physical feats:
Benchpress 225
Overhead press bodyweight
Squat 135 * 20 reps no problem
Deadlift 135 * 50 reps no problem
6 minute mile
handstand pushup nose to ground without the help of a wall.
Go back to school and become a 1337 h4x0r
damn son. bench press 225? the most i've ever been able to do is my body weight, and only 1 rep, and with an olympic bar (obv. much easier than doing it w/ dumbells, but i guess olympic bars are pretty standard). u have a spotter?
i think the most i've ever overhead pressed is 70 (10 reps), i might be able to do a rep at 80.
i ran a 5:58 minute mile on a treadmill (level) but sure as hell couldn't do that on a track.
back in the overlake daze i remember sitting in the waiting room of a psychiatrist and running into avantika ne. (i knew why she was there; the overlake student review board was making her get an alcohol evaluation).
then the doc told me that i was depressed and self-centered. the iq tests came back fine except for the "spatial reasoning" section. he could have just looked out the window and seen me trying to find my car in the parking lot, would have saved $500.
my check word is "parkworm"
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