via hipsterrunoff

More AARON KANESHIRO from forthcoming 'I Forgot What I Wanted'

http://www.aaronshunga.com/

'Sorry I Like To Party' Trailer #3 feat. Snake Cop

banks

face forward discussing cultural commuters
the two plasma screens are glowing
the teleconference cameras are running
post-geographical immigrant ideas.
bank of american is the friendly bank
someone says.
what if bank of america had everyone over
to its apartment and opened up some beers
and said 'my bad guys, we cool'?
no we're not cool.
we're not even kind of nice.
you should probably stop trying to be so helpful.
it seems like you're exhausting yourself.
let's get lunch.

free pastries

none of you know me and it's probably going to stay that way.

tonight, i met up with a friend to discuss some things.

we met there near closing time (due to the bustling schedules we both keep as unimportant people that no one has ever heard of and probably never will).

as the staff was kicking people out they were milling over what to do with the unsold pastries.

they debated on whether to throw them away, bring them home to their undoubtedly hungry flatmates or leave them neatly placed on the curb for a lucky vagrant to stumble upon.

not 5 seconds after having stated the last option, they all looked over at me (unshaven with sunken eyes, still smelling of last night's drink).

they audibly began agreeing on how they should give it to me.

i sort of brought this on myself by staring at the mystery bag of coffee shop treats without blinking while they were deciding the contents ultimate fate.

they called out to me, 'hey, do you want some free pastries?'

unable to contain my excitement and therefore any shred of dignity, my eyes grew wide as 'shit yes!' slipped past my lips.

they quickly laughed and commented to each other on how excited i got, treating me very much like a dog (a well fed dog).

i quickly grabbed the bag and exited the shop due to their obvious desire to close.

as soon as i was out front, i began to ravenously eat a blueberry bran muffin and as i was pushing the last chunk in my mouth, i looked back and saw the staff looking out their floor to ceiling window at my state.

i darted around the corner and ate a lemon custard danish around the corner and another bagel on the walk back to my quiet room to report on tonight's eventful conclusion.

Complete List Of Influences (exluding parents, family, friends, 'lovers')

NPR
Carl Sagan
Bill Nye
The Outsiders book
Beach Boys
Vice Magazine
Dov Charny
Seattle Liberals
Jorge Luis Borges
William Gibson
Tao Lin
Fredrick Barthelme
Bill Gates
Red Dwarf
Ruby Room
The Boeing Company
Apple Computers
Trader Joe's
Sailing
Private School
Public School
Vans
Thursday
Bad Religion
Jim Jarmush
Wong Kar-Wai
Tom Waits
Sonic Youth
Thrift stores
Nirvana
Rainer Beer
The Old Fire House
Veggie burrito
Black Metal
College English Department
HTML
John Malkovich
Superjail
Solid state amplifiers w/ distortion
Patrick Nagel
Zach Galifianakis
Nas
The Stranger Paper
Seattle DIY

I CAN TELL THAT SOMEONE IN YOUR AREA CODE IS READING MY BLOG

DON'T PRETEND.
I CAN TELL THAT SOMEONE IN YOUR AREA CODE IS READING MY BLOG.
I HAVE GOOGLE ANALYTICS.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW IN YOUR AREA CODE.
THEREFORE, I KNOW YOU THINK I'M INTERESTING.
THREE DAYS AGO, YOU STAYED ON MY WEBSITE FOR ELEVEN MINUTES.
I THINK YOU ARE IN LOVE.
DON'T FIGHT IT.
JUST KEEP READING.

who doesn't love DC

These are my terms of service

don't worry. i brought enough for everyone.

Meet New Poster: Graham from the 'midwest'

BEAT HAPPENING + WOMEN + SF 2009

SINGLE AND LOVING IT #5

He Knows A Ton Of Chicks

There's this dude who's lived around here for a while.
He has a harem, as we say. Dark bangs, lit cigarettes.

Women hold his hands wherever he goes and
the light from the Oakland sky seems to shine

on him, naked, in his bed with several
beautiful white birds who go to art school.

It's not that we want to be him.
We just want to know how he finds the time

to be desirable.
I can barely finish my beer,

these women know what kind
of graying, obscure, tediously hip

sex I could give them.
We would disappear together.

SINGLE AND LOVING IT #4

this is how i live